Monday, June 29, 2009

What goes away next?

It's been a little while since I posted anything about my son's situation, so here's a quick update.

To the best of my knowledge, he's still clean. And that's a great, great thing. However, the depression and side effects from the Suboxone are still kicking him in the ass. Which means that his sleeping schedule is still totally wack. Which means that he continues to sleep the days and afternoons--and sometimes parts of the evening--away. For example, as I type this sentence it's 4:15 in the afternoon...and my son is still in bed asleep.

We took away his PS3, thinking that losing the ability to play video games would motivate my son to get on a better sleep schedule. But it did absolutely nothing. Then we really brought down the hammer and took away the one thing we thought he could never live without: his cell phone. But, amazingly, two weeks later things still haven't changed at all. So now the question is: what goes away next?

I sometimes think the next logical step would be to take away my son's guitars. But I'm a little scared to do that because it's a key outlet for his emotions. But if it's not the guitars, then I'm not sure what it is. I am really shocked that losing the cell phone didn't force some kind of change in my kid. If someone would've predicted that two weeks ago, I would've told them they were crazy and bet big money against them. Shows you what I know. Or maybe it shows that the whole thing is more out of my son's control than we realize. I just don't know anymore.

Anyway, that's where things stand. It's still beyond frustrating to be in this situation. So I try to take it one day at a time. And "try" is the operative word in that last sentence. Lord knows I deal with it better some days than others. If you don't believe me, ask my wife. Or my son.

1 comment:

  1. Maybe it's easier to resist cravings while in bed? I'm guessing that taking away guitars wouldn't be a good idea. As you say, it's an emotional outlet, which seems like it'd be very important. My other guess is that your question is probably accurate: that maybe it shows that the whole thing is more out of his control than anybody realizes. Maybe, for now, it's possible either to stay clean or to be awake in the daytime -- acting sorta like other people, joining the rest of the family -- but not both. For now, for the next year or so anyhow, for the time being.

    Maybe. I can't know, of course; I'm just blabbing.

    If daytime/nighttime hours are important, then maybe get a fold-up futon? Or just a mattress on the floor. Roll him off it and fold it up at 8 a.m. -- or prop the mattress up on the wall, or whatever; let him continue sleeping on the floor, if sleeping is what he must do. Just doesn't make sense to me to take away a toy as a consequence (or motivation) for something to do with sleeping. Blankets, pillows, mattress -- those have something to do with sleeping.

    Or maybe find him a night-shift job. That's not to make light, I mean -- it's meant to suggest: why not work with what you've got? He's up at night. That's how it is, and it's looking like nothing can change that. He's clean (yay!!!!!!), and he's awake at night. How can that be worked with?

    Again, I'm just thinking, from far away, nowhere near the heart of it all. One day at a time I think is a good way to go.