Update on 2017 Scholarship Contest

Just a quick update to let folks know that I've been doing a lot of thinking about the feasibility of a 2017 My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest. As you may or may not know, my wife and I started our essay contest back in 2015 as a way to help college students who have been affected by a sibling's addiction. We were thrilled to be able to award two scholarships in both 2015 ($1,700 total) and 2016 ($2,050 total).

In both of those years, my wife and I seeded the scholarship monies with $500 of our own, with the rest of the funds provided by generous donors. Unfortunately, I haven't worked full-time in more than three years now, and money is about as tight as it can be. Funding last year's contest was a challenge, but funding this year's contest is pretty much an impossibility.

As much as we'd love to do it, I think the scholarship contest is going to have to take a break this year. Sometimes you just have to be realistic, even if it hurts a little.

If anything changes--like if by some chance I win the lottery in the next few weeks (note: that probably won't happen since I don't buy lottery tickets)--I will update you. But for now it looks like we'll set our sights on getting the contest back on track in 2018.

Thanks for understanding.

Peace. And remember...

#SiblingsMatter

The Checks Are in the Mail!

My wife and I finally got all the information we needed to send out the scholarship checks for the winners of this year's My Life As 3D Scholarship Essay Contest. The checks are in the mail! The University of Michigan will be receiving a $1,500 check to apply to Carolyn Robbins's tuition and Arcadia University will be receiving $550 to apply to Katie Walker's tuition. Both of these young women are so incredibly deserving of their prizes.

As good as it makes me feel to have been able to put this contest on for the second consecutive year, the odds of it happening again next year are most likely slim and none. Helping fund college scholarships when you've been without a full-time job for almost three years isn't easy. If something changes, though--i.e., I'm able to find some sort of real job in the next few months--I will definitely consider a third year for the contest. I truly want to keep assisting college students who have been impacted by a sibling's addiction, but I can't afford to go (further) into the red doing it. I guess we'll see what happens.

Thanks again to all the college students who entered the contest; to the judges; and to everyone who took the time to read the amazing essays written by Carolyn and Katie. And special thanks to the 24 generous donors who contributed to the cause. Kathy and I couldn't have done it without you.

#SiblingsMatter

Deadline for Scholarship Essay Contest Is 1 Week Away!

When I was in school, I was a procrastinator. No matter what the assignment was, I managed to put it off until the last possible minute. Example: For a film class in college, we had to choose a current movie and watch it three times, each time observing and taking notes on a different aspect of filmmaking. Then we had to write about our findings in an essay.

Of course, the scope of that project didn't faze me. I went to the movie theatre the day before the assignment was due, sat through three consecutive showings of On Golden Pond, then came home and wrote my paper. I got an A+.

I've since learned that just because you can doesn't mean you should. In other words, you can put things off until you can't put them off any longer and still get them done. But why put that kind of pressure on yourself? Why not take Nike's advice and just do it?

So here's another friendly reminder that the deadline for entering the 2nd annual My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest for college students who have been impacted by a sibling's addiction is now just ONE WEEK AWAY. All entries are due no later than 8:00pm EDT on Friday, July 1st.

If you're planning on submitting an entry and haven't started writing yet, you might want to think about doing so. Or, if you're a procrastinator like I was, maybe you don't need to think about it until next Thursday. Whatever works for you. Just know that the clock is ticking. The essays that have been submitted so far are great and I look forward to reading many more.

All the information needed to enter the contest--requirements, rules, key dates, etc.--should be contained in the documents below. (For more background on the contest and to find out who the judges are, read this blog post.) This year we will be awarding a $1,500.00 scholarship to the contest winner and a $550.00 scholarship to the runner-up.

NOTE: These links are to Google Docs.

2016 My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest: Rules

2016 My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest: Application/Entry Form

If you have any questions about the scholarship, or if you have any problems with the documents, please contact me at:

siblingscholarship@gmail.com

Good luck! And remember: #SiblingsMatter

P.S. I love SpongeBob SquarePants. :)

Deadline for Scholarship Essay Contest Is 2 Weeks Away!

This is just a friendly reminder that the deadline for entering the 2nd annual My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest for college students who have been impacted by a sibling's addiction is only two weeks away. All entries are due no later than 8:00pm EDT on Friday, July 1st. So if you're planning on entering, you'd best get writing!

This year we will be awarding a $1,500.00 scholarship to the contest winner and a $550.00 scholarship to the runner-up.

All the information needed to enter the contest--requirements, rules, key dates, etc.--should be contained in the documents below. (For more background on the contest and to find out who the judges are, read this blog post.)

NOTE: These links are to Google Docs.

2016 My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest: Rules

2016 My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest: Application/Entry Form

If you have any questions about the scholarship, or if you have any problems with the documents, please contact me at:

siblingscholarship@gmail.com

The judges and I are looking forward to reading a lot of heartfelt essays. And, of course, to giving away some money.

Good luck! And remember: #SiblingsMatter

2016 My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest

(Note: A version of this blog post also appears on The Huffington Post's blog site as "A Scholarship Essay Contest for College Students Affected by a Sibling's Addiction.")



Welcome to the official announcement of the 2nd annual(?) My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest.

I wasn't sure this contest would happen again this year, and yet here we are. Sure, last year's version was a big success, with 30 kids submitting essays and 2 kids walking away with scholarships totaling $1,750.00. But finances have been tight in my family for a while now--not having a full-time job for more than two years will do that--so putting up money to seed another scholarship fund this year was kind of iffy. In the end, though, as I wrote back in October, my wife Kathy and I decided to go ahead and do it. Because siblings matter.

Our goal this year was to meet or exceed the monetary value of the scholarships we awarded the first time around, and I'm super happy to say that we did that. My wife and I put up $500.00 of our own money and some very generous people kicked in another another $1,550.00 via our YouCaring campaign. The end result?

This year we'll be awarding a $1,500.00 scholarship to the contest winner and a $550.00 scholarship to the runner-up.

Here are the key dates you need to know about this year's contest:

• Deadline for essays/entries: 7/1/16
• Judging deadline for essays: 7/31/16
• Winner notified/announced: Week of 8/1/16

The topic for the essay contest is:

“How has your sibling’s addiction impacted you and what are your dreams for your future?”

Last year's contest produced some amazing essays, a few of which marked the first time the author had ever written about the effect their sibling's addiction has had on them. I have to say, that was one of the most satisfying things about the whole experience: Giving young people a chance to tell their stories and shifting the focus off of their addicted sibling for just a little bit. Writing can be so cathartic, so maybe we helped some young people find some relief even if they didn't win any money.

This year's contest will be judged by a group of people who know a thing or two about addiction and writing. In addition to myself and my wife, these fine folks will be judging the essay submissions:

Jeff Jay
Jeff is a clinical interventionist, educator, and author who has been in recovery from addiction since October of 1981. He and his wife Debra run Love First, a private practice that provides interventions, recovery mentoring, and professional training. A former clinician with the Hazelden Foundation and Sacred Heart Rehabilitation Center, Jeff co-authored the best-selling book Love First: A Family’s Guide to Intervention with his wife. His latest book is Navigating Grace: A Solo Voyage of Survival and Redemption.

Jeanne Keister
Jeanne and her husband Don lost their son Tyler to addiction on December 23, 2012. Since then, they have worked wonders to help break the stigma associated with addiction and evoke legislative changes through their organization atTAcK addiction. Their goal? To help young people realize the dangers of alcohol and drugs so that they and their families never have to experience the pain, tragedy, and loneliness that accompany addiction.

Hannah Miller
Hannah is an incredible young person in recovery who has committed her life to helping others struggling with addiction. She shared her story, "Nine Lives," with Heroes in Recovery back in December of 2014. A recent graduate of the University of Michigan's Master of Social Work program, Hannah is a therapist at Dawn Farm, an addiction treatment center in Ypsilanti, Michigan.

Munchie Morgan
Munchie is a fabulous writer who lost her younger sister to an addiction-related suicide just over two years ago. She has shared her story on the Heroes in Recovery site, too. You can read it here: "My Sister Sarah." Munchie started the Facebook group "Someone Else's Sarah" to help bring awareness to addiction and suicide. She also writes a blog for a treatment facility.

Anne Slease
Anne has been a teacher for more than 20 years and became a mental health advocate and author after witnessing firsthand the rippling effects of mental illness and addiction in her home. Her older son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18, but he denied it, self-medicating with alcohol and drugs instead. Ultimately, he was incarcerated and spent almost 3 years behind bars. Anne has written a novel, A Brother's Oath, a fictionalized account of the devastation her younger son faced while watching his older brother's mental health and behavior deteriorate. She also writes a blog called "Still Hopeful Mom."

Cathy Taughinbaugh
A Certified Parent Coach, Cathy has been working with parents since 2010. After discovering drug and alcohol use was an issue with her children, she found that connecting with others was a way to share tools and strategies that could help parents lessen the pain of their child’s substance use. Through personal coaching, articles, a support group, resources, and various ebooks, Cathy's goal is to offer inspiration to others facing the same or similar challenges in their lives. You can visit her website at: http://cathytaughinbaugh.com 

(Actress Kristen Johnston, author of the brutally honest and funny addiction memoir Guts: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster, was a judge last year, but isn't sure if her schedule will allow her to participate this time. She's asked me to contact her closer to the judging period to see what her availability is. I'm really hoping she'll be able to do it.)

So there you have it.

If you know a college student who has been impacted by their sibling's addiction, and they are attending college in the fall, please share this blog with them. Maybe they'll be interested in taking a shot at this scholarship contest. All the information they need to apply/enter--requirements, rules, deadlines, etc.--should be contained in the documents below.

NOTE: These links are to Google Docs.

2016 My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest: Rules

2016 My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest: Application/Entry Form

If you have any questions about the scholarship, or if you have any problems with the documents, please contact me at:

siblingscholarship@gmail.com

I can't wait to give away some money in August. And who knows? Maybe we'll do it again next year, too.

Peace. And good luck. And remember...

#SiblingsMatter

--Dean

"You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories." --Anne Lamott

THIS Is Why You Should Help the Sibling of An Addict Pay for College

As most of you already know, my wife and I started a small college scholarship last year to help siblings of addicts pay for college. We did it because we experienced firsthand how addiction can upset the balance in a family--and the balance in a family's checkbook.

Siblings of people struggling with addiction can get pushed aside while their family deals with a brother's or sister's disease. Believe me: It's not something that's done intentionally. It just happens.

The scholarship essay contest Kathy and I created was something we came up with to show that siblings matter. We wanted to give those siblings a voice, have them write about how they've been affected by addiction, and reward a couple of them with some money to help pay their college tuition.

We gave away a total of $1,700.00 last year--$1,200.00 to the winner and $500.00 to the runner-up. Our goal this year is to at least match that amount, and, hopefully, exceed it. As I write this blog post, our YouCaring.com campaign for the scholarship fund stands at $1,585.00, so we're getting close. But we're only actively seeking contributions for five more days, so time is running out.

If anyone needs a reason to make a small donation, I offer up this testimony from a 17-year-old girl in Montana. She sent me a message via Facebook last night after she read my Heroes In Recovery blog entitled "Siblings and the Ripple Effect of Addiction." Here's what she wrote:

"Hi, I don't know if messaging you will help. Or if it's even worth it to send this. I read your blog on the ripple effect and how it affects siblings of addicts. I haven't found something that has ever actually explained how I feel with my sister being an addict until I read that. So much of what happened to your younger son is happening to me. I don't know why I'm messaging. I don't know if I want to talk or if I want to write about my experience. I guess it just feels nice knowing that people understand how I feel. I guess I'm more trying to say thank you for writing that because it helped me realize that it's okay to feel forgotten and pushed outta the family. It's normal but thank you for writing that. I hope you know it does help. It doesn't exactly make me feel like everything is okay now but it does help."

That message is exactly why Kathy and I are doing the scholarship contest again this year. And it's why you should take a couple of minutes and make a contribution--any contribution--to the scholarship fund before the end of the month.

Kathy and I believe that it shouldn't be okay for siblings to "feel forgotten and pushed outta the family." They deserve so much more than that.

#SiblingsMatter

You can make a contribution to the My Life as 3D Scholarship Fund at this link:

https://www.youcaring.com/college-students-affected-by-a-sibling-s-addiction-453759

Thanks for listening.

Peace.

Update: 2016-17 College Scholarship Essay Contest

Back in October, I wrote that my wife and I had decided to go ahead with our My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest again this year. (For those who don't already know, this is a contest that awards scholarships to college students who have been affected by a sibling's addiction. We awarded two scholarships last year.)

I'll be completely honest: We almost didn't do it, because money's pretty tight on our end right now. More than two years after leaving my publishing job to pursue other interests, I still haven't found a full-time job. So putting up $500.00 as seed money for this year's scholarship wasn't easy. But we received so many emails from students asking if there was going to be another contest that we just had to do it.

Sometimes you have to make decisions based on what's in your heart instead of what's in your wallet.  

I started a crowdfunding campaign on YouCaring in mid-October to raise additional money for the scholarship(s) and so far generous donors have contributed an extra $635.00 to the cause. Our total scholarship funds as I write this post are $1,135.00, which is great. I hope people will keep donating so we can reach the $3,000.00 goal. (Honestly, even $2,000.00 would be fabulous.) By all means, feel free to share the YouCaring link--https://www.youcaring.com/college-students-affected-by-a-sibling-s-addiction-453759--with anyone you think might be interested in contributing, even if it's just a few dollars. Every little bit helps.

Here are the key dates we've established for this year's contest:

• Deadline for essays/entries: 7/1/16
• Judging deadline for essays: 7/31/16
• Winner notified/announced: Week of 8/1/16

I'm also in the process of assembling the panel of judges. I'm very pleased to announce that Jeff Jay, a nationally known clinical interventionist, educator, and author, has agreed to judge essays this year. Jeff and his wife, Debra, wrote the best-selling book Love First: A Family's Guide to Intervention. Jeff also has a new memoir out called Navigating Grace: A Solo Voyage of Survival and Redemption. 

So that's my update. More details for this year's contest will be shared in the next couple of months. In the meantime, spread the word. We had 30 students enter last year's contest. Maybe this year we'll get even more.

Peace.

We're Doing It Again (and You Can Help)

The first My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest was such a success, my wife and I have decided to do it again.

In August, we awarded two college scholarships to students who have been affected by a sibling's addiction. The author of the winning essay, Ryan Gruchala, received $1,200.00 to help pay his tuition at the University of Dayton; and the runner-up, Luke Moran, got $500.00 to help pay for his studies at the University of Delaware.

Those scholarships were funded in part through the generous donations of ordinary people. People who realize that addiction is a family disease, and that it eats away at families in every way possible: emotionally, physically, and financially. Addiction affects everyone in the family--mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.--but I don't think anyone is affected as much as siblings. Oftentimes they don't understand what's going on with the brother or sister who means so much to them, or why it's happening.

A sibling's addiction can also have a negative financial impact on a family. While trying to help an addicted child, parents burn through money at a tremendous rate. They spend thousands of dollars on rehab treatment, hospitals, therapy, intensive outpatient programs, sober living houses, special medications, etc. By the time another child is ready to go to college, parents are frequently struggling financially. So every little bit helps.

My wife and I have decided to do another My Life as 3D Scholarship Essay Contest for 2016. We will once again put up $500.00 of our own money, and we would love to have others contribute to the cause. Our goal? To meet or exceed the amount of the scholarships awarded the first time around.

I've set up a fundraising page on the YouCaring website. (I chose YouCaring this time because their fees are lower than other crowdfunding sites.) Please consider making a donation to this cause, even if it's only a couple of dollars. It all adds up, and you will be helping someone who is very deserving.

This fundraiser will be open through March of 2016. The essay contest will be announced in my blog in April of 2016. The winners will be announced in August of 2016.

If anyone wants more information about how the first essay contest was set up and run, you can visit my blog post about it.

And just an FYI: The checks for the scholarship prizes are made out directly to the winners' schools, after their registration is verified.

So, who wants to help make a difference in a young person's life?

"We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give." --Winston Churchill