Can You Help a Family Shattered by a Horrible Tragedy?

I got to write the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog for six days this month and donated to some wonderful causes each day. But there's a cause that, unfortunately, popped up after my Causes and Effect run was over that I need share:

The I-275 Wrong-Way Tragedy" GoFundMe campaign exists because of a horrific accident that occurred the morning of December 12th. A 59-year-old man was driving the wrong way on Interstate 275 in Canton, Michigan, that morning and slammed head-on into another car, killing Nicholas Pare, 33, and his fianceé, Sharon McIntyre, 32.

Police found an open bottle of vodka in the car that was going the wrong way and say that alcohol was possibly involved in the crash.

Nicholas Pare and Sharon McIntyre were innocent victims. So are the three children they leave behind, ages 7, 13, and 15.

Authorities are waiting for toxicology tests to come back before charging the wrong-way driver (who, of course, sustained non-life-threatening injuries). Right now, they won't say if the driver was drunk or not, but you don't have to be a genius to figure out that he probably was. An open container of alcohol in the car and driving the wrong way on a freeway at 10:40am on a Tuesday morning are pretty good pieces of evidence, if you ask me.

Drunk driving sucks. Consider these statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):

• In 2015, 10,265 people died in alcohol-impaired driving crashes, accounting for nearly one-third (29%) of all traffic-related deaths in the United States.
• Of the 1,132 traffic deaths among children ages 0 to 14 years in 2015, 209 (16%) involved an alcohol-impaired driver.
• In 2015, nearly 1.1 million drivers were arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol or narcotics. That’s 1% of the 111 million self-reported episodes of alcohol-impaired driving among U.S. adults each year.

Those numbers sicken me, and until this country decides to do something drastic to combat our drunk driving problem, they will just get worse.

I don't know what the answer is. Maybe it's mandatory ignition interlock devices on all cars, like I wrote about back in 2015. Or maybe it's a zero-tolerance policy for impaired driving. Or harsher sentences for first-time offenders. Or something no one else has even thought of yet. I just know that something has to be done. Human lives depend on it.

I grew up the son of an alcoholic father, which is one reason why the subject of drunk driving gets my blood boiling. As I wrote in a post about another tragedy back in 2009:

My father was an alcoholic who had more DUIs than I could even count. On more than one occasion, he hit parked cars and all I can remember is thanking God that the cars were parked and empty. As a kid, riding in the car with my dad while he was intoxicated was a regular occurrence. I will never forget how scared I was, wondering if I was going to make it home alive, but too terrified to speak up about it. 

Whenever I hear about an incident like the one that killed Nicholas Pare and Sharon McIntyre, I think about my dad. And I'm grateful that he never physically hurt anyone as a result of his drunk driving.

Today my family made a $20.00 donation to the GoFundMe campaign for Nicholas and Sharon's family. It will help them pay for two funerals and start a fund to take care of three kids who have had their lives completely shattered, just in time for Christmas. If you have any extra money at all this holiday season, please consider making a donation, too. It doesn't have to be a large donation. Just something. Anything at all. Believe me, every little bit will help immensely.

And, as a final reminder... If you drink, please don't even think about driving. Because so often it's other people who end up suffering the greatest pain.

Below is a direct link to the GoFundMe campaign. If you donate, feel free to let me know in the comments below. It will make my heart happy to know that I was able to round up an extra donation or two for a family going through hell this holiday season.

Rest in peace, Nicholas and Sharon.

Click here to donate: I-275 Wrong-Way Tragedy" GoFundMe campaign

This family has been torn apart and the kids need your help.

Causes and Effect, 12/12/17: Help Mark Dahlem & His Family Battle Brain Cancer (YouCaring campaign)

The sixth and final post of my six-day-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

Helping a Police Officer and His Family Battle Brain Cancer

Today, the Help Mark Dahlem & His Family Battle Brain Cancer YouCaring campaign is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family.

If you would like to make a contribution to this campaign, you can do so here:

Help Mark Dahlem & His Family Battle Brain Cancer

Six down, zero to go.

Thanks again to Melinda Newman for letting me come back and have another chance to participate in this incredibly fulfilling exercise in humanity.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/11/17: One Spirit

The fifth post of my six-day-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

One Spirit: Helping American Indians Survive

Today, the One Spirit is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family.

If you would like to make a contribution to One Spirit, you can do so here:

One Spirit's donation page

Five down, one to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/10/17: Detroit Rescue Mission Ministries

The fourth post of my six-day-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

DRMM: Rebuilding Detroit, One Life at a Time

Today, the Detroit Rescue Mission Ministries (DRMM) is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family. (Thanks to a grant opportunity that quadruples all donations through December 31st, that donation will be worth $40.00!)

If you would like to make a contribution to DRMM, you can do so here:

The Detroit Rescue Mission Ministries donation page

Four down, two to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/9/17: NAMI and Support for Tracy and Zack (GoFundMe campaign)

The the third post of my six-day-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

NAMI: Speaking up for Those with Mental Illness

Today, my family is making two donations of $10.00: One to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and one to the Support for Tracy and Zack GoFundMe campaign.

If you would like to make a contribution to NAMI, you can do so here:

The National Alliance on Mental Illness's donation page

If you would like to make a contribution to the Support for Tracy and Zack GoFundMe campaign, you can do so here:

Support for Tracy and Zack GoFundMe campaign donation page

Three down, three to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/8/17: The Leelanau School

The second post of my six-day-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

The Leelanau School: A Better Way to Learn

Today, the Leelanau School is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to Leelanau, you can do so here:

The Leelanau School's donation page

Two down, four to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/7/17: Michigan Humane Society

Back in December of 2015, I took over the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog for a month. Started by entertainment and culture journalist Melinda Newman back in 2013, the premise of the blog is simple: Donate $10.00 every day of the year to a different organization or individual that needs it, and write about your experiences daily. As she wrote in her first blog post, "The only criteria is to give the money to some outlet that needs it that day more than I do."

Writing the Causes and Effect blog for a month was one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done. So, as the blog gets ready to wrap up after a five-year run, I was thrilled to be asked back by Melinda to be in charge of the blog for six days this month.

Today is the first of those days and my post honors my late feline companion, Elliott, with a donation to the Michigan Humane Society.

Here's the link to today's post:

Because Animal Lives Matter, Too

Today, the Michigan Humane Society (MHS) is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to the MHS, you can do so here:

Michigan Humane Society's donation page

One down, five to go.

Peace.

Rest in peace, Elliott. We miss you.

The End of My Month-Long Causes and Effect Blog Run

(Note: For the month of December, I took over the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog, which was created by Melinda Newman in 2013. Today was my thirty-first and final post for that blog. The words below made up the majority that post, entitled "Three Final Donations to Wrap us 2015.")

I have a confession to make:

I almost backed out of taking over this blog for the month of December.

When I found out late last year that Causes and Effect creator Melinda Newman was looking for 12 individuals to take over the reins of the blog in 2015, I was quick to throw my name into the ring. And I was incredibly excited when I got picked to be one of the blog's writers for a whole month. The only downside was that I was assigned to December and had to wait almost a whole year before I could dive into writing.

Then life happened.

Despite being grossly underemployed for the second year in a row, 2015 was a great year for me. But the lack of a decent income reared its ugly head around mid-year when a series of unfortunate events started to happen. At times I felt a bit like Lemony Snicket.

First the washing machine broke. Not surprising, really, since it came with the house when we bought it ten years ago, and it had probably been in the house at least ten years before that. Buying a new one was inevitable. While we were at it, my wife and I decided to splurge and buy a matching dryer, too. After all, the dryer was also pretty ancient, and we had never bought a brand new washer or dryer before. So forking over the money for a shiny pair of appliances wasn't that painful.

Speaking of pain, as 2015 went along I started waking up with a sore back and neck with some regularity, which I attributed to the fact that our mattress was about 15 years old. So my wife and I opened up the checkbook to buy a new mattress and foundation.

See, that's the problem when you age: everything you own ages, too. And it needs replacing. Like our gas range, which decided to die in the middle of baking a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies in late October. And the custom canvas awnings above our front and side doors that got shredded in a November wind storm and had to be replaced. Again, these were things that came along with the house and had just worn out. (For what it's worth, I had no idea that awnings could be so damn expensive.)

Things settled down a bit until some annoying episodes of atrial fibrillation--an irregular heart rhythm--started kicking my ass. After almost 18 years of having that condition kept in check by medication, I decided to have a catheter ablation done on my heart to try and fix the problem permanently. Because we buy our own health insurance, which has a pretty high deductible, that procedure ended up costing us quite a bit out-of-pocket. It was definitely well worth it, but it was also another unexpected expense incurred in 2015.

Lastly, just to put some icing on the proverbial cake, my wife and I bought a second car late in the year. Having one car is something we've done for a long time, but sometimes it's a bit inconvenient. So when the opportunity to buy a 2007 Ford Focus that a friend of ours was selling at a ridiculously good price presented itself, we figured what the hell. (Believe it or not, the car was the cheapest of all the purchases I've mentioned in this post.)

Now back to my concerns about this blog. It wasn't the writing that I was worried about; it was the money. Because the idea behind Causes and Effect isn't only to write about charities and good causes, it's to donate to them, too. At least $10.00 a day times 31 days meant that my family would be spending at least another $310.00 during the month of December (which is more than we paid for the Focus!).

I wondered if I should just throw in the towel and tell Melinda that I couldn't do the blog. Surely she'd understand. And it wasn't like she wouldn't be able to find somebody else to do it, right? But something inside of me told me to stick with it.

There are two things I know about money:

1. It really isn't everything.

2. There's always somebody who needs it more than you do.

I think that's the essence of the Causes and Effect blog. The idea that giving, even if it sometimes hurts a little, is the most incredibly rewarding thing you can do. Knowing that you are helping others and making a difference, no matter how small, just makes you feel good.

Writing the Causes and Effect blog this month has been one of the most amazing, gratifying things I've ever done. It's taught me so much, not just about writing--like how hard it is to sit down and write a reasonably meaningful piece every single day--but about life. I’m so glad I didn't back out of this wonderful opportunity.

Thanks to Melinda Newman (and Brian Mansfield) for having faith in my ability to take care of this blog for 31 days. Hopefully I've done a decent job. And a very special thanks to my wife, Kathy, for her willingness to let Causes and Effect become an integral part of our lives for the month of December. I couldn’t have done it without her.

Now let's just hope the refrigerator, dishwasher, and furnace behave themselves for a while longer.

"Gratitude begins in our hearts and then dovetails into behavior. It almost always makes you willing to be of service, which is where the joy resides....When you are aware of all that has been given to you, in your lifetime and the past few days, it is hard not to be humbled, and pleased to give back." --Anne Lamott

Causes and Effect, 12/31/15: The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, Shatterproof, and the Herren Project

The thirty-first--and final--post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

Three Final Donations to Wrap up 2015

Today, three separate charities--the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, Shatterproof, and the Herren Project--are recipients of $10.00 donations from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to any (or all) of these charities, you can do so at these links:

The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids

Shatterproof

The Herren Project

Thirty-one down. No more to go. I'm done. It's been a great ride.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/30/15: The Love Bus

The thirtieth post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

The Love Bus: Taking Sex Ed for Young People on the Road

Today, The Love Bus: Sex Ed on the Move GoFundMe campaign is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to this campaign, you can do so here:

The Love Bus: Sex Ed on the Move GoFundMe page

Thirty down, one to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/29/15: WDET 101.9FM, Detroit

The twenty-ninth post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

WDET 101.9FM: A Pillar of the Detroit Community

Today, WDET 101.9FM, Detroit is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to WDET, you can do so here:

WDET 101.9FM, Detroit's donation page

Twenty-nine down down, two to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/28/15: To Write Love on Her Arms.

The twenty-eighth post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

TWLOHA: The Amazing Charity That Started with a Story

Today, To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA) is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to TWLOHA, you can do so here:

To Write Love on Her Arms' donation page

Twenty-eight down down, three to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/27/15: Help Get Gas Money (GoFundMe Campaign)

The twenty-seventh post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

Help Get Gas Money

Today, the Help Get Gas Money GoFundMe campaign is the recipient of a $20.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to this campaign, you can do so here:

Help Get Gas Money GoFundMe page

Twenty-seven, four to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/25/15: St. Andrew Church

The twenty-fifth post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

St. Andrew Church: "The Sweetest Place on Earth"

Today, St. Andrew Presbyterian Church in Marin City, California, is the recipient of a $100.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to St. Andrew Church, you can send a check to them at this address:

St. Andrew Church
101 Donahue
Marin City, CA 94930

Twenty-five down down, six to go.

Peace. And merry Christmas to you and yours.

Causes and Effect, 12/24/15: atTAcK addiction

The twenty-fourth post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

Turning a Tragedy into an atTAcK on Addiction

Today, atTAcK addiction is the recipient of a $25.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to the atTAcK addiction, you can do so here:

atTAcK addiction's donation page

Twenty-four down down, seven to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/23/15: Lupus Foundation of America

The twenty-third post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

Lupus: A Mysterious Disease with No Known Causes or Cure

Today, the Lupus Foundation of America (LFA) is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to the LFA, you can do so here:

The Lupus Foundation of America's donation page

Twenty-three down, eight to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/22/15: The Compassion Collective

The twenty-second post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

The Compassion Collective: Standing with Love for Syrian Refugees

Today, the Compassion Collective is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to the Compassion Collective, you can do so here:

The Compassion Collective website

Twenty-two down down, nine to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/20/15: Detroit Youth Volume

The nineteenth post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

Detroit Youth Volume: Teaching City Kids Suzuki Violin for Free

Today, Detroit Youth Volume (DYV) is the recipient of two $10.00 donations from my family: one for their organization and another for their Kickstarter campaign. If you would like to make a contribution to the DYV, you can do so here:

Detroit Youth Volume's donation page

Or here:

Detroit Youth Volume's Kickstarter campaign

Twenty down down, eleven to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/19/15: Work Options for Women (WOW)

The nineteenth post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

WOW: A Culinary Training Program with an Inspiring Mission

Today, Work Options for Women (WOW) is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to the WOW, you can do so here:

Work Options for Women's donation page at ColoradoGives.org

Nineteen down down, twelve to go.

Peace.

Causes and Effect, 12/18/15: The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research

The eighteenth post of my month-long stint as writer of the Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily blog can be found over at Tumblr. Here's the link to today's post:

Michael J. Fox: The Ultimate Parkinson's Patient Advocate

Today, the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research is the recipient of a $10.00 donation from my family. If you would like to make a contribution to the Michael J. Fox Foundation, you can do so here:

The Michael J. Fox Foundation's donation page

Eighteen down down, thirteen to go.

Peace.