Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Catching up

It's been a while since I've posted about my son, but in this instance, no news is good news. My son is doing quite well, staying clean, doing the things he's supposed to be doing at his sober living house, going to meetings, driving regularly (practicing so he can get his full-blown license), etc. He still doesn't have a regular full-time job, but he does occasionally work for the owner of his house, cleaning windows, painting, and doing other home maintenance work.

I've seen two major changes in my son since he's been back in Michigan. The first is increased self-esteem. This might sound silly to some, but my son actually posted a picture of himself smiling on his Facebook page the other night. When I saw it, I almost burst into tears. I think it's the first picture he's ever posted of himself where he has a smile on his face. To see it made me incredibly happy.

The other change I've seen in my son is maturity. Since returning from Georgia, my son seems to have matured quite a bit. I've mentioned it here before, but my son kind of got "stuck" emotionally at around age 15. This is not an uncommon thing among addicts. In fact, it's widely believed that a person's emotional age can indeed get stuck with drug use. Like this article says, "Emotional age is fluid and adjustable, unlike physical age which advances in a predictable way over time. People with drug and alcohol addiction often hold on to less mature ideas and behaviors that don’t enhance their life. When they use drugs and alcohol to cope with...problems, they stunt their emotional growth at that spot."

My son was stuck for a long time, but he seems to be learning how to handle adult situations better than he ever has before. He's also learning more about life in general. It feels like his emotional age is finally catching up with his chronological age. And believe me, that's a wonderful thing to see.

So that's my update. There have been a whole lot of other things going on in my life lately: Crazy stuff at work, my parents getting ready to move to a smaller apartment, refinancing a mortgage, looking for a new school for my younger son (who has ADHD issues), etc. Sure, things have been hectic and stressful, but I'm still doing my best to live in the moment and take things--and days--one at a time. Letting go of the resentment towards my dad has certainly helped set me free, too. I honestly never thought I'd be rid of that pain. A Facebook friend of mine posted a saying today that really said it all: "Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got."

Oh, one last thing: My guest blog post for the Heroes In Recovery website is now slated to go live this Thursday, August 23rd. I'm extremely excited about being "exposed" to a wider audience and will definitely share the link here when the post goes up.



  1. omg, that quote is so good. Thanks for that. My dad's recent health crises have really shifted stuff between me and my mom, and I've been wondering how long it will last. That thought, to simply live as if she had apologized for various stuff, is quite profound and helpful to me.

    So glad your son is be-ing well.

    I finally bought Voyaguer. Really good.

  2. Please hang in there, as you are an IMMENSE fountain of encouragement for LOTS of us out here. God bless you and your sons. xoxoxox