My son was kicked out of his Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) because he didn't go yesterday. He was pretty much on "final probation" after not showing up for three days in a row last week. They told him if he chose not to show up again, he was out. So, it's not like he wasn't warned. But it's a shame, because he still had multiple days left that the insurance company was going to cover. Oh, well.
I'm just so frustrated. As I told a friend in an e-mail yesterday, my wife and I have done everything we can possibly do to help our son. It just seems like he's not interested in doing what he has to do to turn his life around. He seemed to be doing well for the first month or so that he was out in Palm Springs. But now? Not so much. He talks a good game at times. But he doesn't follow through on anything he says he's going to do. I'm so tired of carrying his baggage. I think it's time to just let him go.
By the way, we never heard my son's voice on Thanksgiving. We tried to call him and he didn't answer his phone. He did send my wife a text message at one point that said "Happy Thanksgiving." My wife replied and asked him to call us, but he never did. I guess that was his choice.
D, I'm with you. We are in very similar places right now with our sons. Yes, we need to let go. They both know how to talk the talk but are not willing to walk the walk. Until they are there is nothing we can do, nothing. We've done it all, maybe even too much (in my case). Its heartbreaking, its terrifying, its frustrating. We suffer more than they do because they are high and we're sitting by with our hearts full of love, wanting their sobriety more than they do. They just keep escaping.
ReplyDeletePlease give your wife a big hug from me (and its for you too).
I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI understand the frustration.
We would "fix" them if we could. BUT, we have tried so hard and it just doesn't work that way.
I have to turn my son over to my Higher Power many times a day. I keep trying to grab him back. Either he is going to "get it" or not. I can only help myself.