Saturday, June 4, 2011

So much for peace of mind

I enjoyed peace of mind for about 36 hours. Then everything went all to hell.

I'm so emotionally wiped out that I don't have the energy to go into great detail about the day. But a lot of it has consisted of my son sending text messages to my wife telling her that he hates the three-quarter house; that people are using drugs in the house; that someone has stolen $10.00 from him; that people in the house keep asking him for Suboxone; and--get this--that people have stolen his Pop-Tarts. Seriously. His fucking Pop-Tarts.

I don't know how much of what my son is saying is true. And it's quite possible that none of it is. During his previous stints in a sober-living facility and in rehab, we were told similar stories during the first few days. It may just be a case of an addict being uncomfortable in a situation and saying anything he can to try and get himself out of that situation. Or, some of what he says may be true. I don't know. But we've told our son to deal with what's going on by telling someone there about it. Not by texting us and asking to come home. In fact, I've told him more than once today that he's free to leave the three-quarter house if he wants to; but that if he does, he's on his own and he's not coming home.

The 36 hours or so of peace of mind I experienced was totally badass. I want to feel like that more often. I'm just not sure it'll ever happen.

1 comment:

  1. I hope it happens again soon, I know it (the badass feeling of peace of mind) will return eventually. Its so not fair. I think your son is trying to come home because my son has said similar things when he first gets somewhere. I think since our sons both suffer from anxiety they feel safest when they are home. I don't doubt there are thieves at rehabs. I hope he can settle in. I'm sorry we all have to deal with this. Its very discouraging and sometimes seems hopeless....but its not. Others have successful sobriety so can our sons.