Changing priorities

In an earlier post, I mentioned how little things can become a source of great hope when you're going through what I'm going through with my son. It really is amazing how things that most people probably take for granted become major achievements or dreams in our house. Yes, priorities change and--for lack of a better description--the bar is sometimes lowered.

For example, hoping that my son would get excellent grades in high school evolved into hoping that my son could just finish high school. And when I realized that my son wasn't going to finish high school, then I didn't even really care, as long as he could find some happiness and get his life on track.

We're still working on that happiness/life-on-track part, but at least he was able to pass the GED exam last spring. That was a major milestone. But if you would've told me ten years ago that having my kid get a GED instead of a high school diploma would be cause for celebration, I would've told you you were crazy.

See what I mean? Priorities change. And in my world, you just have to roll with that change as best you can. It's the only way you can survive.

And then there were three

Some of you may know this already, but I'm a member of a program that is comprised of a (supposedly) select group of Amazon.com customers. It's called the Amazon Vine program and its members get free stuff from Amazon.com in exchange for writing reviews about the stuff on the Amazon web site. On the third and fourth Thursdays of the month, at 3:00pm eastern time, Amazon's Vine program posts a variety of items on their web site. Vine members are allowed to choose two items to get for free. Not all members are offered the same items. The program supposedly targets its members and offers them stuff based on prior purchases, interests, etc.

Well, someone at Amazon.com must've gotten the impression that I like video cameras, because today I got my third one since I've been in the program. It started with a Flip Mino camcorder in June. Then I got a Flip MinoHD (hi-def) camcorder in November. And today I got a Creative Vado HD camcorder. I've used the first quite a bit and like it a lot. The second one didn't work very well with my older Mac PowerBook, so it's just sitting in the box. As for the third one... I'm curious to see how it will compare to the other two. These are all very small camcorders that record on flash memory and connect to your computer with a flip-out USB connector. So they're very cool. Obviously, I'm thrilled to have gotten them for free.

Some of the other cool stuff I've gotten from the Vine program:

• A George Foreman 360 indoor grill with five interchangeable grilling plates
• A big Tyco radio-controlled wheelie motorcycle
• An Oral-B Pulsonic electric toothbrush
• A Philips Sonicare electric toothbrush
• A 6-pack of some tasty raspberry chipotle BBQ sauce
• Lots of books
• Some video games
• Some CDs

Believe me, when I first got the e-mail from Amazon.com inviting me to this program, I thought for sure it was a scam. But it's not. It's actually pretty damn cool. I love free stuff!

Could this be a turning point?

When you're the parent of a recovering addict and have been struggling for as long as my wife and I have, it's real easy to get excited and feel hopeful about little things that reflect a possible positive change in your loved one's life. Not only is it easy; it's pretty much necessary. Because not only is life with an addict "one day at a time," sometimes it's "one baby step at a time."

One of those baby steps took place today, which was my son's first day of class at a local community college. (Actually, it was his first day of class for this semester. He was enrolled last semester, but had to withdraw after less than a week of classes in order to go into rehab. So we're looking at today as a fresh new start.) Granted, he only had one class today. But it was a class that started at 9:00am. I'll admit, after weeks of him staying up 'til 3:00 or 3:30 in the morning, and then sleeping until 3:30 or 4:00 in the afternoon, I wasn't real confident that he'd get up early this morning and make it to a 9:00am class on time. In fact, if I were a betting man I probably would've bet against it. Well, lo and behold! My son got up early, was ready on time, and got to class on time. Needless to say, I was a bit surprised, but I'll take a pleasant surprise over the other kind of surprise any day.

Some of you may be reading this and thinking that I'm crazy. This event may sound so incredibly rudimentary and basic to you that you're wondering how I could possibly get excited about it. Trust me: This is a huge step for my kid and for us. Maybe, just maybe, this is a turning point for him. Maybe getting "out there" and having a routine and socializing with new people will be a springboard to a better way of life for him. I am hoping and praying with all my might.

My favorite music of 2008

I posted this on my Facebook page back in December. Thought I'd reprise it here...

I don't really like making these lists, but I'll bite and throw out these records as my favorite from 2008. Not necessarily the "best" albums of the year. But albums that I really enjoyed listening to. And still enjoy listening to.

FAVORITE ALBUMS OF 2008 (in no particular order...honest):

Kathleen Edwards: Asking For Flowers
Collin Herring: Past Life Crashing
My Morning Jacket: Evil Urges
Old 97's: Blame It On Gravity
Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago (technically first released in 2007, but...)
Earlimart: Hymn and Her
Drive-By Truckers: Brighter Than Creation's Dark
Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes
The Hold Steady: Stay Positive
Ryan Adams & the Cardinals: Cardinology
Sun Kil Moon: April
Kasey Chambers & Shane Nicholson: Rattlin' Bones
Blitzen Trapper: Furr
Calexico: Carried to Dust
Conor Oberst: Conor Oberst
Bob Mould: District Line
Anathallo: Canopy Glow (A late addition...but very deserving!!)
The Raconteurs: Consolers of the Lonely (Another late addition. How did I miss this one?)

FAVORITE EP OF THE YEAR:

One Day As a Lion: One Day As a Lion EP

FAVORITE REISSUE OF THE YEAR:

Whiskeytown: Strangers Almanac

GUILTY PLEASURE ALBUM OF THE YEAR:

Taylor Swift: Fearless

4 months down...

Today marks 120 days since I've had a drink. Four months without alcohol. And you know what? I don't really miss it. Have there been times when I've said to myself, "Man, I could use a glass of wine to take the edge off"? Absolutely. But for the most part, the lack of alcoholic beverages in my life is no big deal. And whether he recognizes it or not, this should be sending a message to my son about self-medication.

"Be the change you want to see in your loved one," was the directive the family therapist in my son's rehab facility gave us. Meaning that it was hypocritical for my wife and I to tell my son not to self-medicate and then turn around and have a glass of wine or a beer or a margarita after a stressful day. It makes a lot of sense, really. And it's really a small sacrifice to make in the grand scheme of things. (The icing on the cake is the fact that I've lost 17 pounds over the last few months. I'm sure the lack of alcohol has been a contributing factor to the weight loss.)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

That's not me sleeping. It's my son. And he's damn good at it. Going to bed in the wee small hours of the morning and sleeping until late afternoon is his specialty. And it's getting old. Not sure what to do about it, but something has to happen. I realize that he's an addict, and that his recovery is affecting his system. But things are getting ridiculous. He's starting school in a week or so and I don't see how he's going to pull it off. Here's hoping a miracle comes our way soon. Maybe that miracle can bring a job with it, too. Because my kid could use one. Hey... At least he's alive, right?

Static in the attic

"Sometimes I feel like the static in the attic
Is making me just confused."
--From the song "Cobwebs" by Ryan Adams

I've definitely been dealing with some static in the attic over the last few days. Struggling, for sure. The end of the holiday break, my son's addiction, the uncertainty of the future, finances, etc., etc., etc. I don't quite understand why I got dealt the hand I did, and coping with it seems to be getting harder, not easier. It hurts. And every day seems to be a struggle lately. Maybe it's just the winter blahs piling on top of everything else. I hope so.

By the way, today is my youngest son's thirteenth birthday. I don't know where the time has gone.