Boy, it's been a long couple of days. But here's the latest update...
My wife and I heard about another blow up "Jack"--the sober living house owner--had with some of the guys in the house today. Thankfully, our son wasn't involved because he wasn't there at the time. I also confirmed--direct from the horse's mouth--that Jack did indeed call our son a "motherfucker" and a "junkie" the other day when he woke him up to ask him where his rent money was. He also told him, "You're worth nothing to me."
Now I'm all for being tough on people, but I also believe that you can cross a line while you're doing it. And my wife and I are of the opinion that Jack crossed that line and that the sober living house has become a toxic environment for our son.
IMPORTANT NOTE: My wife and I may be completely wrong. But we have to trust our gut on this one. If God ends up showing us that we were wrong, we will be the first to admit it and will deal with whatever the consequences are at that time. Right now, though, my wife and I both believe that our son should leave the sober living house.
That said, we are not letting him move home. He will be moving in with his girlfriend and her family for the time being, until he and his buddies can find a place of their own.
While my wife and I are still a bit apprehensive about this arrangement, I will say that we are very grateful our son has a place to go that isn't our home. And we are especially grateful that his girlfriend's family is willing to take him into their home.
For what it's worth--and because some people have asked--my son's girlfriend doesn't drink or do drugs. She never has. So she is a good influence on him. She has also told him that if he uses again, she will "walk away" from him. So that's a motivating factor for my son as well.
(Another tidbit of information: The girlfriend's brother is a recovering addict, too. So the family is familiar with our son's situation.)
Like I've said before, there's no owner's manual for this stuff. You learn on the fly. You trust God, you trust your gut, and you hope for the best. Sometimes it's trial and error. Hopefully this decision won't fall into the error category. Because Lord knows we're trying.
So tomorrow I will go to the sober living house with my son and help him pack his stuff into our van. Then he and his girlfriend will drive it out to her house. And another chapter in my son's life will begin.
Please pray for us all.