(3D-mensional musings from an addict's father. No special glasses required.)
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Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Finally, a HAPPY New Year's Day.
It's been several years in the making, but I guess the hard work on everyone's part has paid off. At least for now. I woke up this morning and realized that the first day of 2013 is the happiest New Year's Day I've experienced in years.
For the hell of it, I went back to my post from last January 1st to see what I had written. After describing a less-than-stellar Christmas holiday, I ended my blog post with this:
"So today is New Year's Day. Goodbye, 2011...Hello, 2012. It's been
almost seven years since my son started battling addiction, and every
New Year's I hope the coming year will be better than the previous one.
Today is no different. My wife and I will try to stay strong and
continue to work on our own recovery. Letting go is hard, but I think
we're slowly making some progress. "Progress, not perfection. One day at a time."
As of today, my son is just a couple of days away from being six months clean and sober. He's got a job. He's settled into a great sober living house with a great owner and a great group of guys. And my wife and I are miles ahead of where we were last year in our recovery.
I'd call that progress.
To everyone who reads this blog, I wish you the best for 2013. I hope whatever problems you may have either go away or at least become easier to bear. If you're the parent of an addict, I hope that your loved one makes progress this year and that you and your spouse remember that your recovery is just as important--if not more so--than your child's. Work on letting go a bit more. As they say in Al-Anon, you didn't cause your child's addiction; you can't control it; and you can't cure it.
It's a tough thing to come to grips with, but your child will ultimately make his or her own choices--regardless of what you want those choices to be. So you really need to take care of yourself. You simply can't let your child's addiction take control of your life. It will destroy you. And you deserve better.
Peace to all of you. And thanks again for all your support. Words can't describe how much it means to me.
"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." --C.S. Lewis
My oldest son is a recovering addict who also suffers from severe depression and anxiety disorder. Me? I try to do the best I can under the circumstances, living in the moment and working on my own recovery one day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time. This blog helps. My hope is that it might help you, too.