Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Late-Night/Early-Morning Gratitude

I'm not sure exactly what time it was--I'm guessing maybe 1:00 or 2:00am--when I got up to pee in the middle of the night last night. (Something us middle-aged men do a lot of. Also, should I be concerned that this is my second blog post in a row that talks about urine?)

While I was in the bathroom, I heard a loud voice coming in from the slightly open window. My first thought was that my younger son and a couple of friends he had over were being loud in the family room, but I wanted to be sure before I went downstairs to tell them to lower the volume a notch.

So I opened the window a little more and listened.

What I heard wasn't the voice of a 20-something male. Instead it was a 30-something female neighbor who lives in a house on the street behind us. She was obviously out on her deck, on her cell phone, having a frantic conversation with someone.

I didn't listen long, but I didn't have to in order to understand what was bothering this woman so much: She found out her husband is having an affair.

She told the person on the other end of the conversation that she discovered some incriminating texts on her husband's phone. And that her husband's office smelled like...well, let's just say "sex." She also wondered why her husband would "want it" from someone so unattractive, saying "I wouldn't mind so much if she was hot."

I only listened to this conversation for about 30 seconds, but that was probably too long. And I probably shouldn't be writing about it either. But I can't help it. Because hearing this conversation--which was, by the way, loud and clear despite the fact that there are hundreds of feet between my upstairs bathroom window and this woman's deck--made me feel two things.

1.) I felt incredibly bad for the woman. She just had a baby a few months ago and now her world is shattering around her. I can't imagine how that must feel. I even told my wife today that we should ask the woman over for dinner. But we don't know her, so such an invitation coming from out of the blue would likely be pretty suspicious.

2.) When I finished peeing, I couldn't help but go back to bed feeling overwhelmingly grateful. Grateful that I have an amazing wife, and that our marriage--which is almost 28 years young now--is rock solid. I can't imagine ever being with anyone else; and I'm pretty sure my wife feels the same way.

Life is a challenge, for sure. My wife and I have encountered a whole lot of difficult situations that we never expected. But we've navigated our way through them the best way we know how. As a result, our relationship has grown stronger. And I'm forever grateful for that.

Like my friend Matthew Ryan likes to say, "Teamwork makes the dream work." And marriage is the ultimate team game.

I'm keeping the neighbor behind me in my thoughts and prayers today. I hope she can find some peace in her world sooner rather than later. No one should ever have to feel what she was feeling late last night/early this morning.

"A good marriage is where both people feel like they're getting the better end of the deal." --Anne Lamott

Me with my (way) better half.

Monday, March 23, 2015

I Am Truly Blessed

Yesterday was my wife's birthday. We are now a combined 106 years of age, which I guess means that I'm 77.

Seriously, though...

I have written before about how amazing my wife is and how lucky I am to have her. I honestly don't know where I would be without her. She is, as I said in my Facebook post yesterday, my love, my rock, and my best friend for life.

I am grateful for so many things these days, but at the top of that list is the fact that my wife and I worked through issues we had early on in our son's addiction, got on the same page, and collaborated as a team to find our way out of a difficult situation. That teamwork, along with a whole lot of self-care, has made us better, both individually and as a couple.

Marriage, like life, isn't always easy. And it can be a lot harder when a child is going through addiction. If you've been through it, you likely know exactly what I mean. If you haven't been through it...well, you'll just have to trust me.

We had a great day in our house yesterday. I cooked my wife a birthday omelette for brunch. We went for a walk on a sunny (but cold!) spring day. My wife spent time reading a book I got her for her birthday. And our older son and my mom came over for dinner (I made chicken quesadillas and brownies).

Sitting at the table last night with my wife, my boys, and my mom made me realize yet again how truly blessed I am. I think some people in this world have so much, but somehow manage to take it for granted. Believe me when I say that I will never take what I have for granted. Money and material things may come and go, but family is what it's all about. And I've got a hell of a good one.

Peace.

"Love your family. Spend time, be kind, and serve one another. Make no room for regrets. Tomorrow is not promised and today is short." --Unknown

My wife with her birthday omelette.
I am a lucky man.